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Headspace Events and Drabble (Chaz)
Tuesday, 12 October 2021 12:49I don't get why a lot of people treat headspace events like they don't affect us, but they do. That's where we spend most of our time.
I was up with F.M. half the fucking night because I was crying over the suicide of an abusive aunt in my backstory because I felt guilty, and I felt guilty because I didn't think my curse would go that far! I didn't mean to do it; I just wanted her to see what she did to her daughter, who completed suicide when she was six! And Hailey's death gave me an in-headspace case of PTSD! (Hailey is the daughter, by the way.)
After all this shit, I'm tired and can't focus on school. The body has a cold, so that doesn't help. Brian and Jackalope said this morning that they did some LMR (in the headspace) while I was sleeping. I'm fronting, so any suicidality I felt last night shouldn't affect me because the body doesn't experience it.
Now that I'm thinking about it, the body didn't feel sleepy last night. Was it the cough medicine, or did the body's father pass down the Bipolar Disorder gene to us? Then again, it doesn't happen to us often. Maybe it's our ADHD.
Last time we had a manic-like experience was last year when we ran out of Guanfacine ER and couldn't get a refill for four or five days. I remember singing "Hello Zepp" internally and kinda feeling invincible for no reason while listening to music on Spotify. We couldn't sleep at all! Reanna remembers worrying she might have Fatal Insomnia and then a Bipolar Disorder. (Our mom said our father had Bipolar 1 Disorder, and she herself was diagnosed as having BP2 at one point.) Oh yeah, on the first day, Reanna went into the kitchen to get ice cream but ended up talking to our sister and doing the dishes and remembering she went in to get herself a bowl of ice cream. We were everywhere! I hope we don't experience that again.
I was up with F.M. half the fucking night because I was crying over the suicide of an abusive aunt in my backstory because I felt guilty, and I felt guilty because I didn't think my curse would go that far! I didn't mean to do it; I just wanted her to see what she did to her daughter, who completed suicide when she was six! And Hailey's death gave me an in-headspace case of PTSD! (Hailey is the daughter, by the way.)
After all this shit, I'm tired and can't focus on school. The body has a cold, so that doesn't help. Brian and Jackalope said this morning that they did some LMR (in the headspace) while I was sleeping. I'm fronting, so any suicidality I felt last night shouldn't affect me because the body doesn't experience it.
Now that I'm thinking about it, the body didn't feel sleepy last night. Was it the cough medicine, or did the body's father pass down the Bipolar Disorder gene to us? Then again, it doesn't happen to us often. Maybe it's our ADHD.
Last time we had a manic-like experience was last year when we ran out of Guanfacine ER and couldn't get a refill for four or five days. I remember singing "Hello Zepp" internally and kinda feeling invincible for no reason while listening to music on Spotify. We couldn't sleep at all! Reanna remembers worrying she might have Fatal Insomnia and then a Bipolar Disorder. (Our mom said our father had Bipolar 1 Disorder, and she herself was diagnosed as having BP2 at one point.) Oh yeah, on the first day, Reanna went into the kitchen to get ice cream but ended up talking to our sister and doing the dishes and remembering she went in to get herself a bowl of ice cream. We were everywhere! I hope we don't experience that again.
