Midcontinuum Spearmint

Last night, we reached a milestone: We can read syscourse without feeling fake! Sure, we still don't read what sysmeds say, but we can do it! We can get a Tumblr account and promote our stories! Fuck blocking sysmeds, WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE! (Okay, we still get anxious, but at least we don't feel fake.)

When Chibz saw it for the first time, she was unfazed. It amazed us! Before today, Reanna's plan was to "shelter" post-2022 members from syscourse, so they don't get hurt. SL wasn't bothered, either.

It was so cool just to sit there and... And... I don't know how to say it. It was so powerful. Like, we don't need to be scared anymore. We're safe. (Though it would be better to stop reading it altogether, but what's the fun in that?)

We're reading some right now with little reaction, so I think we overcame most of our insecurity. Syscourse is just repeats of the same episodes that go nowhere. Why the hell did it bother us in the first place? We feel empowered to go back on Tumblr and not care about sysmeds.

But if we go back on Tumblr, we might start caring again. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to go back to doubt and doom-blocking. I want to remain safe in our identities. But we want more visibility for our books.

How's Pillowfort? That might be a great place for story profiles. We just don't know how active it is.

SL is writing a mystery called The Murder After, and I can't help but notice the difference from Reanna's stories in page length.

Reanna thinks she writes a long story, but it ends up being shorter. (Her scrapped story, Spiral, started at 80 pages and ended at 72.) SL is still writing chapter one, and it's already clocking in at four pages. I think his story will reach novel length.

Three days ago, we made some incense because I thought it would repel gnats. We don't have anything to burn it in, so we'll need to get some charcoal and sand. It reminded me of Reflection because he would have done something like this.

Blocking on Dreamwidth is different than blocking on other accounts. We don't think we're hiding from users, we know that we're reducing interaction.

It's the same on DeviantArt. We block so little that our list is mostly deleted accounts. (Reanna had watchers who deactivated but didn't stop watching. It also keeps us from faving art from said accounts.)

We were lurking on Tumblr and learned about the Syscourse Code. You use it to share information about your discourse opinions. We bookmarked it under our "Codes" folder. There are thirteen questions.

 Link: Syscourse Code

We made an account for Tulpa.Info. We're having fun commenting on forums and answering polls.

I think Carnival is our early installment weirdness for self-publishing. We kept changing the release date and didn't advertise much. (Not that we could. It's expensive.)

As we make more books, our experience might improve.

We've decided not to publish Nightingale. I keep going back and forth and freaking out about libel. So, none of them will be published. Not my poems, not Reanna's poems.

I guess Nightingale was my Eileen. It just wasn't meant to be. We're gonna have to figure out what to do with that project. I refuse to waste an ISBN like Brian did.

I'm typing down the first entry Reanna wrote in our system journal when she became selves-aware. I noticed she called it "pseudo-multiplicity" because it didn't match what she researched. (She even lampshades it.)

Reanna has been doubting herself since day one.

It's been five years since Chester killed himself. This year hurt the most. I have songs I prefer not to listen to because I can't go through it without feeling guilty.

I've kept myself busy by talking to Brian. Reanna wrote her monthly journal. We listened to Brian's "Headspace Demons" playlist most of the day. Then, we showered. Seth played some Eoa. It feels weird. This morning, she and I were heartbroken. Now, we feel a little better.

I miss Chester so much.